The love and support of family can be a wonderful thing. We feel that we “should” be understanding when someone we care for is sick or in trouble. Unfortunately, when the disease we are dealing with is addiction, those rules go flying right out of the window.
This sickness twists people around that they can no longer see anything past getting their next fix. When you are dealing with someone who is addicted to crack, prepare for difficult situations where your loved one will choose the drug over his or her relationship with you. It’s hard to picture the person who you have loved and cared for doing things to hurt you, but that is the nature of this disease.
Enabling Versus Helping Your Addicted Loved One
Have you found yourself thinking or saying any of the following phrases?
- “When my loved one is at home, he rests and eats. It looks like he is trying to clean up and get it together, but then he/she disappears.”
- “If I push him/her out of my life, who else will really care?”
- “I want to let him/her be safe.”
- “He/she will die if I abandon him/her.”
All of them are examples of enabling the addiction. Your first instinct is to try to provide love and support for a person you care about who is troubled. When you are dealing with an addict, the normal rules about how to deal with the situation disappear. You can’t reason with someone who is dependent on crack; it simply won’t work.
Even if your loved one appears to be reasonable and says exactly what you want to hear, it’s probably a lie. Your intentions are the best, but you aren’t dealing with someone who is being honest with you. The addiction is always going to win out, unfortunately.
The Crack Addict Disappearing Act
It’s quite common for a person who is using crack to be at home for several days, get some rest, and appear to be getting somewhat better. During this time, your loved one may even seem interested in listening to you when you talk about treatment. Then he or she gets a pay check or gains access to some money or something valuable, and you don’t see your loved one for several days. Why do crack addicts stay missing? They are using and won’t come back until they run out of money or drugs.
Take Charge of the Situation by Holding an Intervention
Rather than allowing this pattern to continue, decide that you are going to stop it by holding a crack intervention. This is an opportunity for your loved one to be accountable for his or her behavior and get into a treatment program. Your family can set boundaries and decide that you will no longer support the addictive behavior. It ends now.
You will have the help and support of a professional interventionist who will guide you through the process. This is an act of love, since you can no longer allow your family member to keep hurting by using drugs.
It’s not too late to turn things around for your family. Contact Family First Intervention now to speak with a trained professional.