Are You Codependent? Addiction & Mental Health Disorder Codependency Assessment

It is not uncommon for family members to become codependent with a loved one with substance use or mental health disorders.

Substance users and those with mental health disorders almost certainly become dependent on family. Over time, some family members may feel they are needed in the relationship or feel that enabling is a necessary evil to keep their loved one from going over the edge. As unhealthy roles in a family system form to balance out the destruction brought on by addiction and mental health, so too do codependent behaviors. Although dogma does not refer specifically to codependency, it has a particular relevance. Dogma is a set of assumptions and beliefs from an outside authority that guides one’s actions and behaviors. Codependency is similar in that one gives up one’s principles and view of reality, deferring to the reality of mental health and substance use. Addiction and mental health can be viewed as the authority not to be questioned, as the new normal. The reasons why people avoid intervention and therapeutic confrontation often result from some form of codependency coupled with fear of what might be lost if we cease doing what we’re doing for the substance user or loved one with mental health concerns. Codependent individuals may believe they are doing something fulfilling for the loved one experiencing mental health and substance use problems and will eventually see they were equally receiving some form of fulfillment for themselves. It is essential to understand what codependency and enabling are doing to you rather than to your loved one with substance use or mental health disorders. Being consumed with trying to support substance use or mental health puts you at risk of losing control of your own life.

Almost every family that calls or inquires about our addiction and mental health intervention services states the problem as a primary mental health concern. Not only is the family unable to make that diagnosis, but neither is a clinician currently. Clinicians are taught that whenever alcohol or drugs are present, even at minimal levels, the treatment team MUST assume the behaviors are the result of the alcohol or drug use until proven otherwise. Alcohol and drugs exacerbate mental health symptoms. For those diagnosed at an early age, the diagnosis may be incorrect and may have been made at a time when perceptions, thoughts, past experiences, traumas, and lack of coping skills were not considered.

“Families who are honest will tell us after the intervention the reason they defaulted to a mental health primary is that it was easier for them to justify the enabling and codependency.”